Pretending for everyone else

It is exhausting to deal with bpd. To feel every single emotion at its full potential. To impulsively react to every trigger. To replay every situation I go trough over and over. To overanalize every single action I take. To wonder all the time if i’ve screwed up by saying or doing something. To question everything that is said to me. To live in fear of hurting myself or someone else.

I don’t want to have to tone down my emotions anymore because it is EXHAUSTING... If I stop my self from feeling as intensely as I do, I become unable to identify what I am feelings and then numbness comes around... But if feel like if I don’t tone my self down, then I’ll be left alone, because "I'm too much".

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