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Some misconceptions about self harming and the reasons why I find comfort in it.

There is a  huge stigma surrounding self-harm, wich might be one of the main reasons why it is so hard to ask for help when you find yourself doing it.

A lot of people who are not familiar to the situation may believe that self-harming is about attention seeking, that it is a selfish thing to do, that it means you are suicidal, that it means you are crazy, that it means you enjoy the pain, that you can easily stop doing it, that self-harm only means cutting, that it is disgusting.

Self-Harming  doesn’t necessarily mean cutting, it can be any action that causes harm to yourself, pullying you hair, punching a wall, hitting yourself, burning. 

I have been self-harming for a while now, at first it was just punching or hitting myself, then I started cutting… I am not proud of it, I know there are better ways to deal with my emotions, I don’t enjoy it and most of the time I feel guilty and ashamed when I come back to my senses, but here are some reasons why I do it:
  1. I self-harm because it makes me feel something when I’m so numb I can’t feel anything.
  2. I self-harm when I feel emotionally overloaded, because physical pain can take away some emotional pain.
  3. I self-harm because there’s this voice in my head telling me that I deserve to feel the pain I made my loved ones feel while I was having an outburst.
  4. I self-harm when I dissociate so much I can’t recognize myself, or the place where I’m standing.
  5. I self-harm when I feel unworthy and disgusting. 
  6. I self-harm to avoid taking my anger out on others.
  7. I self-harm to feel relief.
Self-harming is a copping strategy and after a while it becomes a friend who offers comfort when you don’t know how to deal with yourself, that’s why it is so hard to get out of it… But the thing is, that a real friend would never hurt you.

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